This scared the sh*t out of me!

I’m all too familiar with that full body rush of fear.

I don’t like heights, so the instant flush of “get the fock off this suspension bridge!” chemicals surging through my body is well known to me. Whether on a bridge mountain biking, skiing past the edge of a cliff, or frankly even riding some chair lifts… and if one of my kids is on said chair lift casually goofing around… oh man, don’t even get me started! (GAH! Sweating profusely!!)

I feel it in my stomach. I’ve never once managed to eat a decent breakfast before a big game, not one gold medal was won on a full stomach… nope, I lived on those nasty little gel packs to get me through my competitive athlete days.  IMG_0419

So recently, when I was on my way to give a wee 9 minute talk at PowHERtalks in Vancouver, and had trouble with breakfast… I knew this was something BIG. I’d been feeling this was something BIG the whole week leading up to it… something about this event felt very very different… and yeah… very very BIG.

BIG as in important, crucial, imperative … and as in… I was about to learn something really critical about myself and this revolution of choice we’re in together.

There are times when my fear is telling me I shouldn’t do something. And sometimes my fear is right. Fear isn’t dumb, it’s saved my ass and it’s saved your ass more times than we can count. It is critical to our survival as human beings.

But there are sometimes when Fear is too focused on surviving, and it gets in the way of us truly THRIVING.

Those are the times when Fear is just telling us that something is really important. Important to us, important to our growth as a human beings, to our missions as change makers.

My fear loves to freak out when I’m exposing myself, when I’m choosing vulnerability. Fear doesn’t like watching me get too raw or vulnerable. And I’m now getting all too familiar with how THAT particular fear feels.

When the butterflies start, I go back to an old time mantra from my early sporting days…

“Let’s get these butterflies flying in formation… let’s do this.”  

That energy surging through every cell in your body is also preparing you to do something amazing. For me, it used to be to perform great athletic feats, now it’s to have the courage to stand up and share a story. To share a vision. A vision of millions of women rising up and deciding to thrive, all of us together choosing to give ourselves permission to play by a different set of rules.  Having the courage to live life led by joy and play and a profound sense of love.

What about you? What is your fear preparing you to do?

So take a peek at what happened that day… that day on the way to PowHERtalks when I couldn’t eat breakfast, the day I had to go for walk after walk outside in the fresh air so I could dance WITH my fear to share the story of the PLAYGROUND RULES… oh and you’ll also get a glimpse of me in grade 10 english class in my Cotton Ginny sweat pants and a mouth full of braces, once again, very very AFRAID….

ps. PowHERtalks is coming to a city near you! check it out HERE

 

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